Relationship Strengths Assessment

For each question, mark the response that best describes your situation. This scale will help uncover potential as well as occurring behaviors that may be sabotaging the happiness of your relationship.

1.  My spouse ignores me at times when I need their attention the most.
         Never
         Sometimes
         Frequently
         Always

2.  My spouse has no idea about how or what I am feeling.
         They do have a good idea about how or what I am feeling
         Sometimes
         Frequently
         Never

3.  Having a meaningful conversation with my partner is hard to do.
         They are good at having meaningful conversations with me
         Sometimes
         Frequently
         Always

4.  It is difficult to get my partner to listen to me.
         My partner listens well
         Sometimes
         Frequently
         Never

5.  It is difficult to get my partner to open up to me.
         Never
         Sometimes
         Frequently
         Always

6.  I feel irritated when I think my partner isn’t on my side.
         Never
         Sometimes
         Frequently
         Always

7.  I often find my self getting irritated with my partner.
         Never
         Sometimes
         Frequently

8.  When I am upset with my partner I deal with that by:
         Discussing this with them
         Ignoring them until they ask “what’s wrong?”
         Being sarcastic
         Yelling

9.  I have difficulty remembering happy thoughts about our wedding day.
         False
         True

10.  I cannot really remember anything of our wedding day.
         False
         True

11.  I doubt that my partner can change so that our marriage will be better.
         False
         True

12.  I try so hard to make a happy marriage but my spouse doesn’t seem to care.
         False
         True

13.  I feel “stuck” in my marriage.
         False
         True

14.  I feel as though we have stopped growing together in our relationship.
         False
         True

For questions 1-8, give yourself 0 points if you checked off the first response, 1 point if you checked the second response, 2 points if you checked off the third response and 3 points if you checked off the fourth response. For questions 9-14, give yourself 0 points if you checked “False” and 1 point if you checked “True.” Your score is out of a total of 30.

Scoring

0-7 Your relationship is one where there is a shared sense of commitment and openness. Both spouses are able to openly discuss issues of concern and upset and feel a healthy level of freedom to engage one another and grow together. A tune-up would help smooth some areas that might in the longrun lead to conflict. Arrange a one-session tune-up by calling our office today.

8-20 Your relationship shows signs of sabotage and disengagement that hurts the ability to openly share and grow. Signs of beginning to withdraw are apparent. You are moving towards conflict. It would be helpful to seek counselling. Why not call our office today to arrange an appointment?

21-30 Your relationship is in great danger of disharmony and possible dissolution. Although it may feel hopeless, many of your feelings have been built on both spouse’s inability to connect and resolve issues. Lack of mutual respect is further sabotaging your marriage and feelings of hopelessness are causing the marriage to become a war zone of conflict and withdrawal. It is important to seek counselling now to help you discover ways to re-ignite your marriage and feel glad about being married.

Change is possible... We know how

Note: Sometimes one spouse is unwilling to attend counseling, leaving the other spouse feeling like, "What’s the use?" Research shows that even when only one spouse attends counselling, significant improvement can be enjoyed in the marriage..